….Wreathing the end

….Wreathing the end of

Onion soul-eating Fishing boats Imported

distasteful sinking ethics

Shane with bouquet

G’day Petals,

It’s all Wombat Droppings this week…but leavened with some studio flower pics taken from Mrs Wombat’s own Giverny.

It might be 18 months until the rust-bucket, SS Liarbril is due for overhaul but it’s never too soon to prepare as it limps to another becalming.

Qwissie the-Whyne-and-Perfect-Prat-of-a-Prefect Pyne, (Assistant PE tutor) has seen the crew for the second time, vote down his fee increases for playing deck-quoits. 

With this following the ignominy of back-pedalling his threat to 1700 Research Scientists of walking-the-plank for not getting his way has led to an alarming display of cognitive dissonance in the main dining area.

Whyning “proof” that the world is flat and why Dolce and Gabbana and not Zahia Dehar should design the uniforms for 2016‘s prep students, Qwissie was at his high pitched and feverish, Orwellian best.

Attempting to alleviate the discomfort of seeing and hearing this, Dining Room MC, Bronwyn Kerosene-Pompador Bishop expelled that half of the dining room laughing too loudly for Qwissie to be heard.

 It’s being whispered that Qwissie’s Cognitive Dissonance is both a contagious and terminal condition. He may have to quarantined.

Rose

Captain Rabid-the-Hun has upset the Irish in steerage by eating raw Onions on St Paddy’s Day instead of a Praitie: The Celts also objected to his tie, as being more like a shade of baby-poo than genuine Shamrock Green.

We may (or may not) feel a little sympathy as Captain Rabid-the-Hun is a Pom not Dinky-Di and Easter being upon us gives the Irish less tolerance with Poms than is usual.

Fuschia

Breaking news from the Life-Boat Officer: Peter Dodo Dutton is concluding arrangements for those-people-who-don’t-look-like-us and would-never-fit-in-anyway, to be dropped off at an Island not of their choice, who cannot possibly afford them, who have practises more culturally foreign than our TardisLand  (where all goes backward) for a lot of money that we now have since the budget emergency that wasn’t, didn’t happen.

Dodo has expressed delight at how hairy his chest has become since ignoring United Nations Human Rights conventions.

800 Leaners in 1^st Class, are throwing a celebratory party after being informed by Captain Rabid and his Purser’s Assistant, Josh Ashley-et-Martin Frydenberg that they can do their own customs checks in an effort to make themselves feel more secure.

Costs for this cutting of red-tape will be divided between paying passengers, pensioners, Indigenous people with Life-style issues, the unemployed, community legal services, education and the ill.

Aster

Rabid and Josh were also adamant that cognitive dissonance had nothing to do with policy promises or supporting violence against women and then cutting funding to women’s refuges, protecting Medi-care whilst making it user-pays or protecting our food production whilst promoting Fracking. They also think they’re sane.

Anemone

The storm is coming…..

Hoo-roo Possums,

Shane.